A Renewed Mind

Most of the people reading this blog know me or have interacted with me in some venue. And most of you would say that I am a positive person, usually cheerful, and open minded. I am proactive in this regard, and the system I outline below is how I stay positive. When I do get down, it is usually short-lived. If you would like to be more positive and change your behaviors, try it!

Renewing your mind is an exercise needed when times get tough, patterns become ruts, and habits become destructive. There are steps to this exercise that will allow change to occur in beliefs and behaviors long established and seemingly indelible. (I use the terms "belief" and "behavior" interchangeably without any religious implication. Belief is simply something you take as fact about yourself. Behavior is a habit that has become ingrained and part of your definition of yourself.)

HOW TO RENEW YOUR MIND

Step One: Confront the belief. Who do you say you are? What do you believe is your reality? Do you say, I am fat? Do you think, I am a victim? Do you think or believe less dramatic things that are still restrictive?

Thinking of yourself as a victim or a loser can be one of the most destructive habits we indulge in. Yes, you may have been victimized at some point in your life, by a parent or by an employer, but defining yourself as a victim allows continued victimization. You may not have a job, but defining yourself as a loser because of that is downright wrong and you become less employable with that attitude.

Step Two: Now that you have identified the belief/behavior, say it out loud. Say, "I am fat." Say it out loud. Say, "I am not lovable." Out loud. "I am always negative." "I can't get a girlfriend." "No one will hire me." Whatever your belief, say it out loud. Make sure you hear your own voice saying that negative and destructive belief you have about yourself. I know it's hard to speak it and to hear it, but it's important.

Step Three: Refute it by saying a new statement about yourself out loud. Say "I am not fat. My body is normal." Say "I am not unlovable. I am loved. I love myself." "I am not negative. I am positive." "I do not neglect my health. I am becoming healthy." "It is not true that nobody will hire me. I have skills that an employer wants." What you are doing when you refute the negative belief is recording a new belief over the old one, like rerecording a new song on a used cassette tape. Maybe you don't think it's true yet, but say it anyway.

I will repeat this because it is so important. Recant the old belief and record a new belief. "I am becoming slender." "I am a lovable person." "I am in charge of my life." "I am a nonsmoker." "I do not want or need alcohol." "I am _______ (fill in the blank)" Say it loud and say it proud. Yes, this is an affirmation. But it is more than an affirmation. It is also a refutation of beliefs and behaviors that have been damaging to your life. And it works.

Step Four: Do it again, and over and over again. It takes a few weeks to eliminate the old belief. Whenever you hear that old belief in your mind, start at Step One and go streight through the steps without stopping. After all, you have spent years scraping that rut into your life. Take a little time to infill.

This system works. It's how I stay positive. When I am frightened by the state of my health or feel like none of my clothes fit anymore or think I have no friends (and I do feel that way from time to time), I renew my mind. It's like taking a mental shower.

My husband, who is a certified counselor and the Spiritual Advisor at a large alcohol & drug treatment facility, taught me this method. He lectures on "Renewing Your Mind." Part of his source material is from the writings of James Allen, specifically "As A Man Thinketh." He does not use a Biblical approach even though he is a Christian because clients come from several religious/nonreligious belief systems. His employer sells CDs of his lecture for $10 each. If you are interested in purchasing one of them, contact http://www.serenitylane.org/contact.html and ask for Dwight Lee's CD on Renewing Your Mind.